10 Learnings from a joyful Q1 of self employment

I promised a retro from Sicily and here it is. I feel very lucky to be writing this as I listen to the waves crash on the shore and gaze at an empty beach. I highly recommend Sicily in April — it’s a delight.

It should be said that I actually left permanent employment in August 2021. For some reason I see my three months at Lloyds Bank as faking self employment. I think this is because, while there were positives to that contract, it didn’t give me what I was looking for from self employment. I also didn’t incorporate Joy as a limited company until December 2021.

So, that’s my justification for my year boundaries out the way. Here’s what I’ve learned so far, intermingled with some thoughts for the future.

1. I’m more than my work

When I first started NHS Digital I worked with a coach. This was the first time I realised that I am more than my work. I’ve always connected a large part of my identity to work but in talking to Cat I realised I had other things I wanted to do outside of work, some of which were starting to feel more important than work. Moving into self employment was partly, for me, about making time and space to realise some of these other parts of myself. I want to write more. I want to knit and build a chunky knit business. I want to work with my brother on his hydroponic farm business. I want to spend more time with my family and travel more.

Three months in I’m still learning how to establish a working pattern that allows me to do these things. I’m experimenting with taking Fridays off here and there, working part time when things are slow, squeezing in days off and planning holidays between contracts. I’m wondering if being more rigid with my schedule, for example committing to not working Fridays, might help me develop a routine around things like writing. I also like the idea of taking a longer break every quarter but contract lengths don’t always allow for this.

For now the adhoc nature is working to an extent. I am making progress in the areas I want to and I trust my own time management. However this is something I want to keep an eye on as I move into Q2 and beyond. If things start to slip I may get ruthless with my schedule!

2. I want to make things

I’ve known this for a while. I’ve talked before about wanting to be an inventor when I was young. Growing up I loved arts and crafts. I love the idea of bringing new things into the world. Despite this, I felt the need to develop an ‘idea’ behind Joy that I could market. This idea of bringing brand and service together felt new. It felt like something I could own.

However, I feel like people have struggled to understand it. Is that just my perception? I’ve had quite broad requests, from pure brand projects through to user research analysis and digital product work. That’s been fine for the first three months. In fact it’s really helped me realise what I enjoy the most and where I want to take Joy moving forwards.

While I do still think there is value in this connection between brand and service, the most important thing for me is making things. In the context of design, that means new products and services that make the world better. I love that translation phase from research insight to first concepts — where things first start to take shape.

So moving forwards my ideal projects are concentrating on research, ideation and prototyping. Ideally for new products and service.

3. Saying no is empowering

There is nothing I find more empowering about being self employed than having the power to choose what I work on. I feel very lucky to be in this position but I also know I’ve worked hard to get here.

I take a lot of joy out of saying no to things. Things I don’t want to do, things that make no sense, projects run by tech bro’s wearing branded t-shirts. I usually know pretty early in a conversation if I’m going to say no. I focus on taking in what the project is about while asking myself “Will you enjoy this”. If the answer is no then I’m automatically out. If it’s a maybe I think about other possible benefits like the team, learning and development opportunities or money.

While this is something I enjoy, it’s not always easy. The hard no’s are empowering but the borderline no’s have made me sweat. Should I have said not to that? Could I have done it? What if something better doesn’t come along? I have had a few instances where I have second guessed myself and spent days regretting my decision worrying that I’d done the wrong thing.

I hope, over time, I will learn to trust myself. I also hope, as I refine the proposition for Joy, it will become clearer which projects are the right fit and which are not.

4. My network is my greatest asset

I feel very lucky to have a big, generous and supportive network. I wasn’t aware of what an asset that was until I moved into self employment. I also wasn’t aware of just how many people I’d crossed paths with over the years.

Seeing and feeling this has taught me I chose the right moment to go self employed. I feel like the risks are lessoned when you have a multitude of avenues to turn to for both work and support.

While I appreciate the support and love I get from my network, especially ‘Design Twitter’, I also really value my network for the opportunities it’s giving me. I’m not currently measuring how people find out about me (note to self to add this to my client feedback form) however I have a hunch that my Twitter and LinkedIn networks are playing a big part.

In the early days I had an assumption I would end up working with people I knew. Reflecting back on two opportunities I lost out on towards the end of last year, I wonder if I rested on my laurels a bit in those instances and relied on the fact these people knew me. I’ve actually ended up working mainly with people I had little or no connection with prior to starting Joy this quarter. That’s been a refreshing mix of partnerships with other small agencies and direct client work that I hope to maintain moving forwards.

5. Writing brings me joy

Writing is something I have always wanted to do. I tried to write more seriously when I was in New Zealand. I had some pieces published in design magazines and even a travel piece once. But when I moved home it all fell by the wayside as I struggled to settle back into UK life and kickstart a new career in service design.

It was Sarah Drummond that got me back into it, encouraging me to write for Snook. However, I felt held back by my poor spelling and grammar and I continuously stressed out about my choice of subject matter. Sarah encouraged me to press on and I managed to cobble together a few pieces during my first few years years at Snook. As the years rolled on I started to feel more comfortable with writing. Finding a style of writing that felt personal to me really helped. Getting positive feedback on this approach spurred me on.

Up until that point I had mainly taken an opportunistic approach to writing, putting pen to paper when the thoughts started to form rather than having deadlines. With this in mind, I was worried about committing to weeknotes but I’ve been pleasantly surprised by my ability to not only stick to weeknotes but actually enjoy the routine. The structure quickly morphed away from a standard weeknote format and I let it. I now feel a bit like I write a weekly collumn. Which I’m ok with, because I would like nothing more than to be Carrie Bradshaw!

I want to take this opportunity to thanks everyone that’s read my writing this last three months and especially everyone that has told me they enjoy reading it. I’ve had so much positive feedback and it really lifts me everytime.

I wont be changing anything moving into Q2. Weeknotes and #FridayJoy will remain. If it’s aint broke don’t fix it eh. Although I do like this idea of a weekly design collumn. Hmmmm.

6. Negotiating rates is a dark art

Part way through Q1 I wrote about my rates. This piece got a lot of attention. It was one of my most read weeknotes of the last quarter. I can see why, people don’t talk about money or publish their rates in design.

I have to say though I still feel like negotiating rates is a dark art. I hope the more I do it the more confident I’ll feel. At the moment I still feel nervous and dread the question. I also usually still answer with some garbled answer about a range.

Two things I’ve noticed thus far are:

1. A common ask is “what is your charity rate”? I don’t have a problem with this if the charity is small, the budget is small and there is an obvious need to keep costs low. However I am noticing this ask is sometimes misused.
2. Agencies marking you up has always been a massive bug bear of mine. I hated it when I worked at Snook and I hate it even more now that I’m on the receiving end of the haggle. I have to give a shout out here to DXW who paid me my highest rate this quarter. This is not a trend I’ve seen reflected by every agency I’ve spoken with.

As I move into Q2, I recognise I will always need flexibility when it comes to rates but I would like to get more confident at putting a figure out and sticking to it.

7. People will pay me to talk

I’ve delivered my ‘Let’s talk about sex’ talk 11 times so far. This has been a real privledge. I’m glad I’ve been able to share a story of inclusive design with so many people and organisations — especially as things are getting so much worse for the Trans community.

Out of these 11 times I got paid 6times. I have 4talks booked in for Q2, 2 of these are paid. I made a promise to myself that I would commit to asking to get paid for this talk now. It’s a talk I’m confident delivering, it has a message I really believe organisations need to hear and I trust in the value it can bring.

As we move into Q2 I’d love to find bigger, in person audiences for this talk. I’ve mostly delivered it online and I’d love the opportunity to hone my in-person public speaking as events and conferences start happening IRL again.

8. Having tangible visibility on my cash runway reduces my money anxiety

Money anxiety is real. I knew this would be one of the my biggest challenges when it came to self employment. I’m a real squirrel when it comes to money and this is the first time I haven’t had a set amount drop into my account at the end of every month.

When I started thinking about taking some time off in April my mind started to spin at the idea of cashflow and the delay between starting a contract and getting paid. I was also starting to build up a few outgoing expenses, like paying into a pension, that I would need to retain during my time off.

One Sunday I built myself a simple cashflow spreadsheet. It’s hacked together with sticky tape as I’ve mainly used Excel to make pretty service blueprints and I have no idea how to do anything more than add two cells together. But it works.

Having this written down in black and red in front of me really helped ease my fear. I could see how many months I could work for before I would run out of money to pay myself.

Moving forwards I want to think about whether having pots for holiday pay, sick pay and learning and development might be helpful or if that might be too much structure for now and I just need to stick with my magical spreadsheet for the time being.

9. Running an agency of one will give you an identity crisis

I toiled over this one. As have many others it seems. First came the decsion to be a sole trader or a Ltd Company. On this occasion I actually just followed the advice of a friend and ex-colleague I trusted. I did what they did, right down to hiring the same accountant. I haven’t regretted any of that but what I’m still struggling with is the I/we conundrum.

When I first built the Joy website I went straight for ‘we’. I think I naturally did this to project a feeling of professionalism. Thats what other businesses do so why shouldn’t I do it, even though there is no one else.

Recently I took the decision to make a statement on my site that clearly highlights that Joy is an agency of one. However this is just on one page and it says ‘we’ everywhere else. I still have a sinking feeling that this is disjointed.

I also question whether not trading off my own name was missing a trick and essentially hiding behind a brand. On the plus side, separating myself from my business has definitely made marketing easier. There would be no #FridayJoy if I’d called myself Emma Parnell Ltd.

I don’t have any answers for this one but I am committed to continuing to learn and experiment until I land on an approach that feels right.

10. Breaking habits takes time

Part of the reason I went self employed was to give myself more freedom and flexibility over when I worked.

It’s hard to break the habits of a lifetime though. I still feel very wedded to the Monday-Friday 9–5 lifestyle, simply because that is all I’ve ever known. When I was in talks about a contract that involved Sunday working I was put off. And I still feel like I’m bunking off if I go to the park on a Thursday afternoon.

I’m hopeful summer will shake this out of me. I am a lover of the sunshine and I like to believe that my desire to be outside will make it easier to shake of the shackles of the laptop.

For me what is important is forming new, healthier habits. I’ve started swimming again and have found 8:30–10 to be a slot I can commit to. I want to try and honour this and work around it. I’m also in the process of building out my garden room which will include reinstating the exercise bike that’s been gathering dust post lockdown.

I know it will take time to break the habits of a lifetime so I’m being patient with myself and easing in new things gradually so that I can see what might work for me.

That’s it for now folks. If you’ve read this far, well done. This was longer than my usual reflections. I’m interested in hearing if any of these learnings resonate with other freelancers or design agencies of one out there.

I’m back at work now so my Carrie Bradsaw style design collumn will restart next week. Take care will then.

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I still have availability for work, if you need a hand with proposition development, service design or user research have a look at my website and get in touch: designforjoy.co.uk